“Teaching is Your Job. Teaching is Not Your Life.”

I have been pretty MIA recently because I have been unwell with Covid for the last 30 days. It has been very challenging to even make it through sub plans each day, let alone write a blog post. However, I am back and ready to share some of the takeaways I have learned over the last 4 weeks.

Negative. Positive. Negative

One of the students in my class tested positive for Covid the week before Thanksgiving Week. I ended up feeling unwell that weekend, so I took off the Monday before Thanksgiving and I got tested for Covid. The test came back Negative, so I went back to school that Tuesday. This same day, another student in my class tested positive for Covid, but now we were on Thanksgiving Break.

Having had a negative test, my husband and I went ahead and traveled to visit family over Thanksgiving, but I ended up being so sick and I visited a Doctor on Friday. They tested me for various things and concluded I had a cold and could return to work.

So I did! I went to work the next week and kept working all while feeling worse and worse until that next Friday, I lost my taste and smell…. OH NO! I realized quite a bit too late that I had been working the whole time with Covid. I spoke with the school nurse and she agreed I should be tested again.

That weekend I was able to get an at home test, and so two weeks after I had begun feeling sick, I did test positive for Covid. However, the school doesn’t accept at home tests so I scheduled a third test. Two days later, it came back negative.

Because the health department goes off of the day your symptoms begin, I was already in the clear to return to work, but I was not okay.

Teacher Guilt and a Resolve to Keep Going

I stayed home that Monday-Thursday to try to recover. Each day, I was feeling guiltier and guiltier for not being at work. Like most places right now, we have a major sub shortage in our district, and I know my kids need consistency. I felt like I should be there, and I wanted to be there, so I tried to return to work on Friday, but was completely depleted of energy.

I rested up the next weekend and was planning to go back for the final week before Winter Break. Unfortunately, by the time I made it to lunch on Monday, I didn’t have the energy to lift my hand to my mouth to eat my soup. Completely overwhelmed, I broke down in tears wondering what was wrong with me.

This is when I first received some advice that begin to slowly take root. My team lead looked at me and said, “Go home. You shouldn’t be here. You’re not ready. You need to allow yourself time to heal. Your kids are going to be fine.” She continued, “If these last couple of years have taught me anything, and way too late by the way, it is that we work too hard. This is our job. This is not our life. You need to take care of yourself so you can enjoy your life with your family over the holidays. Because that is your life.”

I explained that I felt so guilty not being here. I was overwhelmed with missing work, grades, holiday festivity planning, parent emails, etc. My team lead understood, but disagreed with me. So she walked out of the room to go tell my principal to send me home. And, my principal did.

I planned to just attempt to come back for half days. So the next day, Tuesday, I came in for a half day. However, things were getting worse. At this point, I couldn’t make it across the room without almost collapsing. I was experiencing severe chest pressure and shortness of breath.

A veteran classroom teacher, now special area teacher, came to my room. She very firmly told me that I needed to listen to her and not come back to school. She said, “You can barely breathe. You should not come back. You need to rest.” She seemed frustrated that I was putting up a fight. Again, she told me, “Teaching is your job. Teaching is not your life.”

Resigning Myself to Rest

That afternoon, I went to see my doctor for an annual checkup. Having heard my symptoms, they cut my appointment short and sent me straight to the hospital. I was there for about 6 hours to get some aspirin and be told everything was fine. Which was good! However, the doctor explained that I just needed to stop pushing so hard and rest.

That night, my Principal texted me, “Just wanted you to know that I love you. I want you to stay home and recoup. You need to focus on getting better. We will take care of school. We will work through the sick day issue so don’t stress over it. Just sleep as much as you can! Love you so much!” (I know! Principal of the year, right?!)

Finally, after so much coaxing from teachers, my husband, and my principal. I stopped. I decided to rest. I decided to take care of myself and get better.

I did not return to work the rest of the week. I missed the Faculty Christmas Party and the Class Christmas Party. I missed the Secret Santas, the Christmas Read Alouds, and the Christmas Games. I missed getting all my grades in early. But mostly, I just missed my students. However, I did do something for the first time. I stopped, I rested, and took care of myself.

Takeaways

As the days have passed, the chest pressure and shortness of breath have slowly begun to subside. I am not back to myself yet, but I am taking it easy one day at a time.

In the future, I won’t fight everyone around me to try to push too hard because of teacher guilt. I will take care of myself. I won’t put my job above my family. I won’t put my job above my health.

Extra Note: I know not all teachers have the privilege to work with teachers and principals like I do. I am abundantly blessed. However, even if they aren’t quick to make sure you are taken care of yourself, you need to fight for it. Your health and your life matter.

Because after all…. Teaching is Your Job. Teaching is Not Your Life.

Before you go…

Looking for more on this subject? Check out Cult of Pedagogy’s Article addressing these topics HERE.

If you missed it, check out my most recent review of Teacher Style Box HERE.